I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
