i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
