So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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