There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize