Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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