you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
