We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
