girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
