I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
