Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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