I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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