Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
