just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
