bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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