dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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