I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
