Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
