I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
