WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
