please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
