how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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