I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
either way he was missing a nipple.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
