Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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