I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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