Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
