I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
