worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
