hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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