I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
