Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
