it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
