hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
