I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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