Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
