just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
