Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
