Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize