So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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