Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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