i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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