ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
