A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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