So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize