I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
