The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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