you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
