Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
