so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize