ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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