My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This house was built for laser tag.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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