Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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