i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
