Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
