you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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