marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
