he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
