So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
