after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
