just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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