If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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