To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
