Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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