I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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