do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
