Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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