Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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