Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
