btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
