I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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